2015: a year of love, lessons and loosening up.
As the year rounds to an end, here are 10 of the most potent learnings the Universe dished me up.
1. Focus is everything
Simply put, this year life felt bad when I focused on the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be. But life got better (unbelievably so!) when I switched my focus to what was already magical. When I chose to see the future from a place of excitement and appreciation, instead of dread, lack and discomfort.
2. I am already good enough
At the beginning of this year my life was full of prerequisites – things I needed to do before I was “allowed” to feel good. Among the list was eating clean, hitting my yoga mat, meditating, being present on social media, writing, spending time in nature and reading (Yes, it was a big list!). I was under the impression that doing these things is what made me a good human being.
But, as I journeyed through 2015 (and became wiser with each day!) I realised, worthiness isn’t something I have to earn. It isn’t a product of the amount of hours I spend on my mat, how “perfectly” I eat or how my life looks in comparison to what I expected it to.
Worthiness is an innate part of my Being. Something that’s mine in each and every moment, whether I want it or not.
I’ve realised that whenever I feel unworthy, it’s not because I am. It’s simply because I’ve forgotten about the existence of my ever-present “enough-ness”. I’ve temporarily bought into the belief that there is a void within me needing to be filled.
And THIS is a whole lot of BS!
My simple yet potently powerful mantra for my moments of forgetfullness has been: “I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.”
3. Spirituality isn’t complicated
I used to see spirituality kind of like a scale – “level” of spirituality on the horizontal axis and hours of spiritual activity on the vertical. Basically, I believed the more hours you meditated, yoga-ed, chanted, qi-jong-ed, [insert favourite spiritual activity here], the more awakened you were. And as someone who’s on mission to expand their consciousness, I’m sure you could imagine I was putting in the hours.
Every waking moment of my life came to be this quest to “do” spirituality. At the end of each day I would visualise this scale in my mind, calculating a answer to the question: “How spiritual was I today?”
After diving deep into the teachings of Abraham Hicks this year though, my definition of spirituality has completely transformed. No longer is it based on the amount of spiritually related activities I can clock, but simply on how good I feel. I’ve come to realise that feeling good is my natural state, and when I’m anchoring into this energy I’m connecting to the part of me that is connected to the whole Universe. And, honestly, what could be more spiritual than that?
You won’t find me visualising no spiritually graph anymore. Instead I end the day with one question: “Do I feel good?”
4. There is no “right” way
Life isn’t black and white. There isn’t one way, one truth, one path.
When I believed this to be the case (that one, single answer to all existed!) I was constantly in a state of conflict.
“Wayne Dyer says “X”. And Marianne Williamson says “Y”. Which one is right?”
“This works for me, so it MUST work for you! But why isn’t it working for you?!”
“The Buddhists say THIS. But I don’t agree. Their path must be wrong!”
“I practice yoga to realign my mind and body. But person X has never stepped on a mat and they are the most aligned person I know. How is this possible?
On this mission to uncover the “right” path, I found myself often in a state of confusion. And also one of judgement – finding it hard to accept those who weren’t aligned with the current way of life I believed to be “correct”. Until that is, I discovered the only single truth there is in this Universe – there is no “right” or “wrong”, there is only that which feels good.
So at some point this year I found myself releasing the need to conform to a certain path. I gave up being a vegan, stopped putting pressure on myself to meditate every damn day and devoted myself to one single rule: To follow my joy!
To be honest, life probably doesn’t look too different from an outsiders perspective. I still eat shit tonnes of plants and get still and silent most days, BUT it’s no longer driven from a need to “get it right”, now it’s from a place of pure inspiration and excitement. And god it feels GOOD!
5. Self-doubt is okay
All my life I’ve held the belief that once I reached a certain “place” the little voice of doubt within my head would just cease to be. Honestly, I don’t know where it was going to go, or what it was going to do with itself – but I was under the impression that at a certain point I would just be so sure of who I was that doubt would just no longer be a part of my experience.
I think this belief was born from my thoughts about others. Celebrities, people I looked up to, anyone who I considered a BIG success – I presumed they just “had their shit together”, never suffered doubt/ uncertainty/ fear of failure. In fact, I thought anyone was who qualified in their art or working in a specific field, just knew exactly what they were doing and never really doubted that.
And so, this year when I stepped into life as a yoga teacher I didn’t think I’d ever second-guess my ability to serve and hold space for my students. But now 12 months later, no matter how many classes I teach or how many glowing, teary eyed reviews I get from my yoga-stoned students, I still contend with doubt. Still that voice chirps in every so often. “No one is enjoying this!” “What you’re saying is silly!” “You’ve done this sequence a MILLION times!”.
Although these moments are fleeting and I spend most of my classes in an energy of confidence and connection, I’ve come to realise that these snippets of self-doubt are okay. They aren’t evidence of my incompetence as a teacher (like I sometimes try and convince myself!). All they are, are moments of misalignment. Times in which I have forgotten that I am connected to an Infinitely Intelligent and Divine force and that I never have to worry. And so, when the voice of self doubt comes out to play I no longer buy into what she has to say and go along wit her story. Instead she simply gets a “Hi! Nice of you to show up. But I don’t believe you!” from me.
6. I’m always loved & supported
Big, fat, fluffy clouds. Strings of green lights. Unexpected lumps of money. Effortless job transitions. Random insurance payouts. The perfect book at the perfect time.
These are just a few examples of the constant flow of magic that I experienced this year. Whenever I reminded myself of the Infinitely abundance ever-loving Universe that I lived in, there she was, with such beautiful gifts for me to see/feel/taste/touch/indulge in.
7. My job is not to save people
I’ve always been a “fixer”. I loved diving into situations and sorting them out. I got a kick out of “saving” people. But this year, I learn one very big thing: No matter how much someone around me is hurting, it isn’t my job to swoop in and clean up the mess.
Each of us comes into these bodies with the intention to learn. And so we need certain things – assignments, you could call them – to help us carry out these learnings. What I was seeing as someone’s “mess” was actually It was soil for their growth. Fertiliser for their Soul’s expansion. And. By trying to clean it up for them, I was actually depriving them of an opportunity to grow!
And that is NOT what I want to do any more! Here’s what I’m doing instead.
8. Not everyone is going to like/ understand/ agree with what you do
You’ll have your supporters. You’ll have your lovers. You’ll have your “I don’t understand what you’re doing but I love you anyway”-ers. You might even have your out-right haters.
But in the end, none of them matter.
In the end they only have the power to influence you if you let them. You can’t control what they think, but what you can control is what you focus on. And your focus is what determined how you feel. So if you take your focus off the haters, the doubter and the “I don’t understand”-ers and choose to concentrate on the “yes”-ers, the lovers, the hell-bent supporters, you’ll feel good. And that’s the goal isn’t it, to feel good?
9. Everything happens for a reason
On a late Winter’s afternoon this year, hot cup of tea in hand I got into my Mum’s car to drive to teach yoga. My car had broken down only days earlier, so Mum had leant me hers to get around in. As I got into the car I put my open tea cup in the cup holder and moments later, in autopilot, placed my phone in the spot next to my chair where I usually would in my car.
10 minutes into the drive I look down to see that in fact, the place where I put my phone was in my Mum’s car the spot of the cup holder. My phone was floating in my freshly brewed cup of peppermint tea. Not ideal!
My reaction surprised me – I looked down and laughed. Then I looked up and thought “I trust you’ve done this for some reason!”. Speaking to the Universe, of course.
To get to the point, She had! A few days later I was sitting pretty with a replacement iPhone my mother just happened to have lying around and $1000 insurance payout. Yep, the Universe sure had dunked my phone is boiling water for a reason!
Moral of the story: Although something might happen that you’re first reaction is to see as one big-fat-slimy-awful inconvenience, it only turns out to be that way if you keep believing it will. If you trust the Universe has something amazing inshore, she’ll following through (I promise!).
10. Love rules
When I was single and starting to dive deep into my spirituality, I held a belief that a “good” relationship wasn’t one where the couple wanted to be around each other all the time. I had this idea that only people who were dependent on each other did this, only people that felt that they needed the other person to feel good did this. And this definitely wasn’t something I wanted!
But now, a little over a year into being with the one I love, I’m happy to admit that I want to spend every second of my existence with him. Not because I feel he is the only thing that makes me feel good. Just because its fun. Just because I live a life devoted to following my excitement and being with/ near/ around him just seems to be getting more and more exciting with every passing day.
Love feels good – really, really good!
I know I’m here in this human body to grow – to expand my consciousness every which way.
It’s such a beautiful thing to look back upon the year and see how much I’ve been living out this purpose, to reflect on how much I have indeed grown and evolved. Here’s to a whole lot more lessons on our next revolution around the sun!
But before you go, I’d love to hear your biggest learning from 2015!