F*ck The Scales: A Journey to Healing my Relationship with my Body

fuck the scales

This post is part of the ‘This Is Radiance’ blog series to celebrate the launch of She Is Radiant: Your 6-Week Wellness Adventure To Get Glowy & Feel Rad by Claire Baker. This eBook is the ultimate guide to figure out what foods and lifestyle choices work best for you and your unique body to get you glowing and feeling rad. An opportunity to create real space in your life for nourishment, mindfulness and creativity and a chance to engage in self care, experiment, expand and find clarity in the confusion. Join the She Is Radiant movement by snapping up your copy here.

“Can I please have your attention? Girlfriend, the amount you weigh is purely a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity and it is never going to determine anything of substance in your life. True story.”

When I read this little nugget of pure magic in Claire Baker’s eBook, “She is Radiant”, every little part of me seemed to scream…

“Hell Yeah!”

They were the exact permission I needed, to say “Fuck You” to the scales FOREVER.


Let’s Time Travel, Shall we?

My body and I, we’ve not always gotten along so well.

It was four years ago, to be exact, when our relationship was at it’s most destructive.

I would deprive her of food, often rationing her only one meal a day. A mandarine, an apple, just a lil’ somethin’ to get her through.

She would always be screaming, crying and aching for nourishment. She was prone to falling and dizzy spells. And she was always cold. So very, very cold.

I would subject her to regular weigh-ins, to gauge her progress. Her lifeless body would stand there, everyone of her cells screaming for a good result so they might just be fed. So they might just be nourished.

But the thing is when you’re playing on the scales, there is never a good result. There is no end goal. The number can always be smaller.

So the destruction continued no matter the number on the scales. I kept depriving my body of food and she kept screaming for me to stop, sending me signs at every corner. Dizzy spells. Black outs. Sore bones. Frozen extremities. She pulled out her whole arsenal of defence. But still I waged war. 


But our relationship wasn’t always so toxic. I used to be pretty damn good to her. Feeding her generously. Listening to her patiently. However, on leaving high school and entering the big-wide world everything seemed to change. Going from a place where I was constantly encouraged and praised, to an environment where I was to fend for myself…

I freaked the fuck out.

I felt like I was drowning. The uncertainty and newness of it all had me lost, confused and anxious. I craved control.

So I turned to her, my body, and made her my submissive. I could easily control what I gave to her and what I did to her. And I could predict the outcome. Less food = weight loss. Yes, I would have some certianty back. Ahhhh life would be better, I thought. .

But I was wrong.

Life got fucking awful.

In an attempt to control, I lost all control. I subconsciously gave every ounce of my power away.

The scales came to dictate my whole entire happiness.

Every little ounce of my self-esteem was based on the number staring back at me. On days I lost weight or someone mentioned I looked skinny (even if it was out of concern), I was proud of myself. This was my motivation. This was what helped me block out the cries of my body, if only for a little while.

But even on these days, I would still cry. I would cry for my body. Her bones protruding through her skin. Her eyes dull and deprived. And I would cry for myself. My poor head, riddled with nothing but thoughts of food. Constantly in a state of anxiety, scared that I would succumb to the temptations around me. Scared that I would loose the control that I was under the illusion of having. I was lost and I sure as hell didn’t know how to get out of the hole I had dug myself.

I was just a super skinny, super sad girl obsessed by the scales.

But with an unbelievably supportive family and some “hired help” I started to step off the scales. I started to heal my relationship with my body. And I stopped feeling so lost.

I learnt that a battle with the scales, is a losing battle.

You always want the numbers to get smaller and smaller. You are never satisfied. There is no end goal, just a hunger for the numbers to dwindle, whilst your body does too. I learnt that they were not a place I liked to reside

Yes, I learnt all these things four years ago. But I’m still healing.

Every so often I find myself jumping back on the scales and allowing the numbers to influence my mood, my sense of self.  I still feel guilty when I over eat or don’t exercise. And every so often when I feel a little down, a little lost, a little confused I find myself turning to my body, ready to get all tyrannical of her ass once again.

For me “skinny” used to be who I was. The number on the scales determined my character, my worthiness. And this belief is still ever-so slightly imprinted in my being. It’s hard to shake! 

And that is why Claire’s words stopped me in my tracks. They reminded me of that girl. The very, very, very sad one. They made me realise that part of her still exists within me. And they gave her permission to get the fuck off the scales… for good!

Ms Claire Baker, I am forever grateful!

It’s time to take back the power

I don’t share this story with many people. In fact it’s a time in my life I hardly think back to ( and as a result quite a few tears were shed writing this Baby!)

However I share it now because I think it holds insight. I share it now because I want you to know that the scale is a trap. You are so much more than the number that appears on the screen.

You are infinite. You are divine. YOU ARE RADIANT.

It’s time to flip the bird to the scales. 

It’s time to take back your power.

And if you need a little help doing so, I could not recommend “She is Radiant” enough.

Here’s to a health defined not by the scale but by the glow of your skin and the happiness of your heart! 

Big Love Meg x

* As a (proud) affiliate of “She is Radiant” I receive a certain percentage of the sales made from my links. But please note I only endorse products or services I am 100% crazy about! And this one is pretty damn spectacular, Baby!

46 Comments to “F*ck The Scales: A Journey to Healing my Relationship with my Body”

  1. Lyndsey says:

    Beautiful Meg, this was so touching…so proud of you for being so open and honest – the courage this must have taken and written to perfection. I have many of my own body/self esteem issues, esp with the scale and your this made me feel less alone and inspired xx

    ps. What an awesome opening quote from Claire, seriously eye opening. So freakin good!

  2. Fran says:

    What a beautifully told story, Meg. I love the ‘f**k it’ attitude.
    Not only does Claire deliver a sad but simple truth in a humorous manner but its so obvious its almost shocking. I’m through with ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days. Throwing out to scales is pretty daunting when you define yourself through them, but I see it as paving the way to freedom.
    There is another little gem in the book about constantly weighting yourself because you don’t trust yourself to make ‘good’ food choices, which I really resonated with.
    Cheering you on from the sidelines xxx

  3. Laura says:

    “In an attempt to control, I lost all control. I subconsciously gave every ounce of my power away”

    Powerful words my beautiful friend, Thank you for sharing, I shed a few tears reading this… I think alot of women can relate to this in some way or another, these words and feelings are very familiar to me. I am proud of you for sharing this.

    xoxo much love to you

  4. Stacey says:

    “Here’s to a health defined not by the scale but by the glow of your skin and the happiness of your heart!”
    YES! YES! YES!! So touching, Meg. Love what you’re sharing with the world xxxx

  5. Wowweeeee lady, I held my breath reading this. Thank you. This story will impact so many women who are struggling with THAT NUMBER. Big love – and thanks for sharing the She Is Radiant love, I’m just so thrilled that it resonated with you x

  6. Stephanie says:

    “Fuck You” to the Scales Forever. This is such a real and authentic comment.

    Meg, your post was so very touching and inspiring. I felt an enormous amount of connection reading your true, honest and open words. I admire the courage and authenticity you bring and share to life. You are an inspiring individual that helps empower others and encourages others to be true to themselves.

    So much love for you Meg!

  7. Lauren says:

    Hell yes!!! I can so connect with this personally, and as I am working on being truly vulnerable & authentic in my work, I am amazed by the raw story you shared. I’m seriously going to send this to several of my clients who are struggling now. Thanks for sharing your story :)

    • Yes. This was one of the first posts I’ve written that I felt a lil’ nervous to post. True sign of vulnerability! And that’s what people resonate with the most. Please share around Lovely Lauren! xxx

  8. Your story will help countless women Meg. Thank you for sharing and for being so brave sweet lady. XX

  9. Kylie says:

    This is such a brave and powerful post, Meg. I love it so much. Sending you a huge virtual hug! xx

  10. Felicia says:

    Wow Meg! Kick-ass post! I love it! A few weeks ago I decided to never use scales again and since then I’ve been showing my body some love and my relationship with my body has improved significantly!

    Thank you for sharing this deep post!

    Much love + hugs , Felicia xx

  11. Tegan says:

    What a brilliant, honest post sweet lady.
    Its funny, I’m usually pretty cool calm and collected but as soon as thoughts of my ED past come into my mind, I get so fired up. Fuck the scales indeed!
    Ahh,, I can relate on so many levels.

    x Tegan

  12. Tara says:

    Oh Meg! I was fixated on every word of this post, my heart screaming “Go Meg!!” the whole way through! Bless your beautiful spirit – you inspire the fuck outta me! xx

  13. Proud of you meg can tell your putting everything into this blog!

  14. Sophie says:

    Such a big, brave, beautiful post. Can’t sum it up better than that x

  15. Heartfelt. Honest. Raw. Authentic. Simply beautiful Meg.

    I know this post is going to inspire so many women out there, those still battling disorders like this, some who have come out the other side but are still on their healing journey and those who have or do know someone going through something like this.

    Kudos to you for sharing your brave heart and journey.

    Keep shining your incredible light.

    Nicole x

  16. Sarah Kate says:

    You, Meg, are the epitome of authenticity here! Thank you for showing up and sharing your story–one that so many people can relate to. Rockin’ it out, once again!

  17. Claudia says:

    This is a really great post Meg,so well written. I’m sure a lot of girls out there can relate to this! x

  18. Natasha says:

    Love. That is all I can say. Love for you for sharing this story and giving people permission to share theirs… and love for this message and everything that it stands for. x x x

  19. Laura says:

    Very moving and honest…. I can relate in many areas yet have not weighed myself in over 10 years. How do I give the bird to a need to be fit??

    • 10 years! Woah.
      As for flipping the bird to being fit, I think it’s about taking the “need” out of it.
      And attempting to practice non-attachment to our body. In the end we are not our body. The way it looks and feels can definitely bring a whole lot of joy into our life. But if we focus our entire attention on our form we can often lose sight of the fact that we are so much more than this.
      Setting an intention for getting fit might also fit. Try and steer clear of those directly attached to the look of your body eg. I want to get abs. And choose an intention based on a feeling. eg. To feel more vibrant/ more at one with my body.
      This will make the experience so much more empowered and most likely successful!
      Hope that helps Laura! xxx

  20. Shannon says:

    WOW. you are a true beauty. so authentic and absolutely amazing post. this one resonates with me. LOVE YOU

  21. Hayley says:

    Hi Meg, just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. I am going through this at the moment although for me I’m not battling with the scale I just keep thinking if I was skinny maybe I’d be happy or people would see me differently, although I am already loved I am not sure why I am doing this to myself but it is taking over my life & the thoughts in my head are always worrying about what might enter my mouth next & whether or not I’ll regret it, it’s a horrible way to live.

    Will the book help me at all?

    Thanks again.

    • Beautiful Hayley! Let’s get one thing clear first…. Your weight, the way you look and the food you put in your mouth does not control your happiness.
      The best way through this kind of battle, is to stop looking at it as a battle. It’s about giving yourself every little of loving you can muster. It’s about learning to accept and give thanks for every little bit of who you are. The trap with kinda thinking you’ve got yourself in at the moment, is that you can never win. You’ll always convince yourself you can be skinnier and therefore happier. You’ll always convince yourself there is something else you can change about yourself in order for people to respond the way you desire. But gorgeous girl, you are already enough! You don’t need to prove anyone anything. Just open your eyes to the beauty that YOU ARE and happiness will overwhelm your entire existence.

      Sending you so much love Hayley.

      And yes, Claire’s book will definitely help you up your self lovin’ and create a better relationship with food!


  22. Elizabeth says:

    oh HELL YES! I never weigh myself, EVER. I am and have always been a healthy yet curvy woman. I had however forgotten how obsessed our culture is with dieting and weighing themselves until my scale obsessed uber dieter mom came to visit us and the whole time I felt uncomfortable in my skin as she made comments about how I look. She doesn’t mean to say things that are hurtful, she just is voicing her opinion which is based off of the magazines she reads. It just made me realize how far society has to go with regards to promoting healthy body image.

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