She was curious as to how I manage to bust through self-doubt and fear, to show up online with such vulnerability and authenticity. After sharing my insights with her and discussing the links between showing up online and in the “real world”, I was thrilled to receive an email from her a few days later letting me know that our conversation had sparked something within her.
Inspired by our lil’ online chat, Nickie has started a “blog-hop” series to help inspire other bloggers to push through their fears and bare all online! And I am honoured to be answering her beautiful questions for you today.
Not a blogger?
Showing Up isn’t just constrained to the blogosphere.
Vulnerability and humanity go hand in hand.
So as long as your hearts-a-beatin’, this post’s for you.
1. What does Showing Up mean to you?
Showing Up to me simply means being seen. It’s about living a life based on how it feels in each moment, instead of adapting my personality and behaviour to suit other people.
It’s about living unrestrained by the fear of what others are going to say. I’ve always been a people pleaser. So for me the biggest part of showing up was getting over the fear of upsetting others or making them feel uncomfortable. I simply got to a point where I was so sick of having my personality dependant on the reactions of those around me. Doing what is wholly in alignment with my truth feels so much better.
2. How do you Show Up to your readers and in your daily life?
I talk about real shit, about the things that I’m currently going through and the blocks I am coming up against. And the most important part, I try not to pretty things up.
I don’t pretend my life is all smiles, positivity and excitement. And I know that’s what resonates with people. It’s when “shit gets real” in a person’s life that they need guidance. And I write here in this space, often about times when my “shit has gotten real”, in the hopes that I can be that guidance for someone.
I don’t try and hide my humanness. In fact, my blog (& my relationships) rest entirely on my humanity. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt over the past 18months is that people really dig it when you are just your real, natural self.
3. What was the initiator in your journey to Show Up online?
It began when I realised that living life based on how it felt for me was so much better than being at the mercy of other people’s emotions and reactions.
You could say I started to give less of a f*ck. I stopped freaking out about what people thought of me and which crowd I should be following. I stopped suffering F.O.M.O and simply started doing the stuff I wanted to do. Unashamedly. This was the most important part. I was confident in my new found endeavours even when I knew they would make other people uncomfortable.
And it was this confidence that people respected. Instead of being shunned or judged those around me were incredibly interested in what I was pursuing simply because they could see it lit me right up. People love passion. And I was showing up, being passionate and those around me were in full support.
It was this kinda response that I received when I decided to stop “giving a f*ck” that led me online. I could see people really resonated with my authenticity in the real world so going online and spreading my message felt like the next natural step.
Key Message: People resonate with passion. They don’t give a flying flip what it is you do, if it makes you come alive those around you will cheer you on.
4. How did you overcome the fears and doubts that so often arise when we make the BIG choice to put ourselves out there?
To be honest, I rarely ever have big doubts about putting myself out there online anymore.
The posts where I have felt a burst of self-doubt, fear and stress when pressing publish are in fact the ones that YOU (my readers) connect with the most. Therefore I am driven to be more vulnerable and open in this space, as I know that this brings more beautiful people my way.
5. What would be three tips you would offer to beginning blogging babes who are conflicted with the idea of Showing Up?
+ Authenticity = More readers
If you haven’t gotten the message yet, here it is again for you in bold!
People dig authenticity.
It’s potent. It’s magical. It’s intoxicating. Use it to your advantage.
+ There’s a fine line between purging and being authentic
Don’t use your online home to vomit out all your problems. Your readers will feel exploited. Yes, authenticity and showing up is integral to living a life of excitement and creating a beautiful online community, but don’t overindulge! Don’t purge every little detail about your life onto your readers simply to get it all off your chest.
Write for your readers. Ensure there is a message in your story or some form of benefit for them. If the post serves no benefit for the reader (eg. Doesn’t make them laugh, smile, think more deeply, increase their curiosity) then Honey, you’re just vomiting all over the screen.
+ Showing Up online will help you show up in the real world
If you Show Up online honestly, openly and truthfully it is like screaming to the world – THIS. IS. ME. It then doesn’t make much sense to go and pretend your something else in the “real world” or to hide away and play small in certain situations.
For God’s sake you’re putting your whole, raw, true self online (on-the-line), in a public domain for all to see. You must then live in alignment with this.
Expressing yourself authentically on your blog will no doubt help you act consistently in the “real world”. It will help you integrate your true self in all aspects of your life. So if you’re struggling to show up around your family, friends or colleaugues, show up online to your readers. Cause once you’ve put your true self out there for the world to see, there’s not turning back, Sister.
Why do you Show Up, Gorgeous?
As a girlfriend, partner, teacher, student, mother, sister, daughter, friend, business woman. Or simply as a human being.
Let’s get the conversation started in the comments below.
And before I go, are you a blogger?
Well, I hand the baton over to you.
It’s your turn to share with your tribe, why you Show Up for them online.
P.S. 6 sleeps till you can get NAKED!