Stop the glorification of tolerance
I don’t know about you, but I have a problem with tolerance. In today’s society tolerance seems to be highly encouraged, promoted and even admired. But, honestly, I think this glorification of tolerance might just be stunting our health. And here’s why...
1. the ability to experience, or survive something harmful or unpleasant
By definition, when we tolerate something we believe it to be innately bad, wrong or inadequate. It is only social norms or pressures that force us to appear outwardly accepting.
Tolerance, therefore, occurs when we believe one thing but express another.
And this, my friends, is where the problem lies. Its a little thing known as cognitive dissonance. This phenomena suggests that when how we act does not reflect how we feel we are left with extreme mental discomfort, unease and stress!
NO THANK YOU!
As we all know our thoughts are everything! What we think determines how we act. Given the power of thought, there comes a time in the tolerance game when our “true: feelings can no longer be suppressed. There comes a time when the lid needs to be blown. All that pent up energy needs to be released. At some point (after our bodies have already been subject to a hell-of-a-lotta stress) it all becomes too much. According to cognitive dissonance, we are innately driven to either change our behaviour or change our beliefs.
What does this mean?
Well, when the stress of thinking one thing but expressing another gets too much for us we either choose to start openly expressing these deeply suppressed feelings (Say hello to anger, rage, conflict, blah, blah, blah) or stop viewing this particular person/ situation/ group/ thing as innately bad.
The former = open intolerance. The latter = acceptance.
Tolerance vs. Acceptance – The difference
Tolerance is based on judgement & labels. As we just saw, it either ends in extreme internal stress & discomfort or an outright bashing of a situation/ person/ thing / group. When we tolerate something or someone we hold a negative opinion about them but force ourselves to see past this and “accept” their presence. We are doing them a favour, right?
But nothing is innately good or bad, right or wrong.
We choose to label situations/ people/ things/ groups. Therefore we are not forever being forced to tolerate these things because of their inherent deficiencies. It is our own judgement that requires us to demonstrate tolerance.
Through constant labelling and judgement, we are forcing ourselves into a state of chronic cognitive dissonance. We are causing ourselves extreme internal discomfort (& a hell-of-a-lotta conflict around the world!)
When we realise we choose the way we feel, we can avoid all this stress.
We do not need to endure, survive or tolerate anything when we realise everything is inherently neutral.
When we choose not to label, all that is left is acceptance. There is no cognitive dissonance in acceptance. No stress. No discomfort. No unease. With acceptance the pushing, the struggle, the fight to suppress our “true” feelings is gone. With acceptance, we open ourselves up to the Universe. We are more likely to take part in beautiful and exciting experiences as we have not already thrown a label on them and decided how we feel. With acceptance we can grow, evolve and connect not only as individuals but as a human collective.
Tolerance becomes irrelevant in the face of acceptance. Only love is possible!
So what are you tolerating? What’s causing you unnecessary stress in your life?
Can you take a deeper look at it? Can you discover its innate neutrality?
You can! Yay!
Feel the ease, comfort and freedom that comes with that. This is acceptance. It is incredibly empowering to realise we hold the key to reducing the sense of struggle and stress in our lives.
So are you with me, Honey? Let’s stop the glorification of tolerance.