I recently turned 21 and I didn’t get drunk!
There was no sculling of a full glass by the birthday girl to the encouraging chants of drunken guests.
Nor were the usual team of friends assembled the following morning in a desperate attempt to recreate the night that was.
Was I sick? …. No.
Am I allergic to alcohol? …. No.
Have I banned myself from having fun? … Certainly not.
Then why the actual fuck were you not trashed on your birthday? (You ask)
Well, beautiful people…
I have given up getting drunk.
Okay now lower that perplexed looking eyebrow and pick up that slack jaw from the ground.
All that judgment and you haven’t even let me explain yet, shame on you!
Allow me to delve into this decision of mine for you, my friend, before you conclude that I have some sort of grave aversion to fun!
Even though I have really only just entered the decade which should see me reveling in free tequila shots, sending out drunken text messages that I will undoubtedly regret the next morning and religiously writing off Sundays, I have chosen to give this all up prematurely!
Okay, okay! So, I am not making getting drunk sound very desirable anyway. But let me assure you, I completely appreciate the great joys of getting wasted.
The uninhibitedness. The laughter. The adventure. The fun. The frivolity.The dancing. The thrills.
That sense of total, utter, complete freedom.
Drunken nights can be fucking amazing.
And then of course there is the fun of remembering, reassembling and recreating the scattered pieces of these nights with friends.
The embarrassment. The laughter. The stories.
Looking back and examining my career of drinking, I have come to realise that there was one thing that I loved so much about getting drunk.
This one thing superseded the Sunday morning hangover and any gnawing feelings of regret or embarrassment I felt from the previous night’s frivolities.
It was this one thing that would drive me to get back on the vino the next weekend without any pussyfooting around.
This one thing…
Getting drunk made me feel more connected to my friends.
It gave me the confidence to connect more freely, openly and honestly with others.
And because of this I thought I was connecting more strongly with my real self.
As humans, it is connectedness that we crave most.
We feel like getting drunk is satisfying this innate and chronic human necessity.
Ironically though, connectedness is what drove me to drink but it is also what has driven my to give up getting drunk.
I CRAVE MORE CONNECTEDNESS!
The connection that was being satisfied by my drinking was on a relationship level.
Now it is my soul that is screaming out for connection.
It is this type of connection that a bottle of wine and a few ‘wet pussy’ shots does not seem to satisfy.
Knowing this, getting drunk no longer serves me.
As Danielle LaPorte so eloquently puts it:
“If you have to step outside yourself, away from your values & Soul, to get your needs met, then you’re not going to get your needs met”
For me these days getting drunk would feel like a stepping away from my Soul.
And let me tell you, once you have truly connected with your soul there is no way in hell you will ever wanna part with HER/HIM.
So it is simple, I don’t get drunk.
Do I miss the freedom, the uninhibitedness, the laughter, the fun, the frivolity?
I have access to the freedom, uninhibitedness & adventure I felt when getting drunk, in every single moment.
And so do you.
So how do you become more connected?
Meditate. Revel in stillness. Foster self-awareness. Question your actions.
Start to peel off the layers of yourself until you feel your true self.
That raw, vulnerable, beautiful being inside of you, craving nourishment and attention.
For me I never set myself the goal to give up getting drunk. It was simply a natural progression as I deepened my relationship with myself.
So beautiful, I’m not asking you to padlock your liquor cabinet and cancel this weekend’s plans, but simply to listen to your SOUL.
Is she/he in need of some lovin’?
Image via Annie Leibovitz